This is a bunch of us. Notice we are family friendly and do not feed small children to the munchkin-monster like some sides do.
Lady Miffie Lancaster, of Hatfield.
She's the one in charge.
She knows all dances and all music and all songs in the world. Well...our world anyway...
Ask about the strange steampunk dolls she makes if you want to be charming. You will also win approval if you offer Sauvignon Blanc. Again.
Anyone spot that there are TWO Squires?? Equality matters to us.
Mystical, magical, his Morris powers are second to none.
A mighty Morrisy, Raveny round of
applause for the
Master of Jiggery-
Pokery… YES! It is:
The Count of Scarboro' Seafront, Sir Sorbet Staff-bender!
Many and magnificent are his cogs and brass bits.
Behold our Miss Cordelia Threadneedle, Mistress of - aye 'tis true - needles, thread and cottony quilts.
She it is to whom ye speak for all things bookings. Be very polite and begin with 'Hail Miss Cordelia'. Things will go better after that.
The sharp eyed will notice she is also the mistress of the ancient art of Morris camouflage. Crikey!
Here is Sir Windsor Fyne-Dyner beloved social secretary for RavensMorris.
He is sophisticated, witty, charming and lives in a gorgeous old house. He is VERY generous with wine. We love Sir Windsor.
Warning: he is known to behave rakishly if provoked. (He is known to behave rakishly anyway, to be honest.)
Sergeant Archibald Ballcock-Gubbins of the King's Royal Ball Bearers.
A tough nut to crack, Sergeant Archibald will steam into you with his mighty weapon if provoked.
He has no fear of the Morris police who watch for random stick waving, and laughs in the faces of those who do-se-do left.
Hail Ballcock! Carrier of banners!
If it comes to war he'll be in the front...or in his favourite sunny spot in the garden with a glass of sauvignon blanc.
Deadly with the Ancient Drum of Beating , this is Lady Wilhelmina Wilkinson-Smythe.
Keen-eyed. Sharp-pencilled is she.
Deadly too with the Pounding Staff of Many Bottle-Tops! Stand not between Lady Wilhelmina and her rhythm bashing.
PATHFINDER! SCOUT unto Ravens Morris. She sees clues, ways, parking spaces, which others do not.
See how she studies the ground before her for footprints and dropped coins.
Lead us, Scout Blanche de Beauregard of Dinburyshire.
Cunningly disguised in WHITE is Our Lady From Beyond , the delver into ancient archaeological secrets, the Indiana Jones of North Yorkshire...
Ms Scarlett Sprockitt-Biter! Investigator! Tune-Smith!
Her veil hides her identity. Pretty darned clever, eh?
Take heart, all ye who watch for the Clockwork Emperor's attacks. For she is here: the wondrous Evangeline The Unlined!
Acolyte to the Steampunk Deities. Brave of heart. Greatness awaits!
Evangeline the Unlined knows the mystical power of the Border step and is afraid of no invader! Up and at 'em Evangeline!
This cool looking chap above makes a very loud noise with a sax, or a cornet. But not a Cornetto (tho' he has certainly tried).
He is a real musician. In the Steampunk world this maestro of brass is better known to many as that cunning old stoat Sir Jasper Essbend, dance master, house maker. Is there nothing he can't do?
Step forward, goggle-bearer-wearer person of majesty.
For she is MIGHTY. Bow, supplicant, before Her Royal Coolness Grandelina P'shaw of House P'shaw !
Practice the special greeting: P'shaw, P'shaw! and forget not to waggle thy elbows. She will be eager to meet you.
Missing in action. Lost fans hurl selves beneath Morris bells.
Last seen: on crutches.
Poster boy of Ravens Morris.
Still he keeps the Giant Steampunk Cat at bay!
Strong are his knees. But not just now, alas...
Missing in action. Fans despair. The DUCHESS.
Last seen: in a VW van sipping tea.
You don't want to tangle with the Duchess. Or her dogs.
Especially if you're a cat I guess.
Please her with Frenchiness! Say salut! Offer a granary baton. These things will stand you in good stead for striking up a conversation
Missing in Action. Eager fans improvise music.
LAST SEEN: on a farm near Hornsea.
Virtuoso violinist Dorothea Smallholding likes travelling. Especially to and from distant reaches of Hull and beyond.
Is there anything beyond?
Only the sea...
Keep away from the water Dorothea!
This is our Shaman: the summoner of the Steampunk Deities Allen Spode. He's the other one in charge.
He is fond of Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc and responds well to offers of it. He does not drink beer therefore he is probably not a real Morris dancer.
Here he is directing a passing plane on what to do with its wings.
This is the boss-lady. Dance-leader-person. The indefatigable Foreman-woman, bag-woman-organiser . Ladeees and gentilmen:
Captain Flossy Go-Lightly!
She is known for her control of clockwork beings and powers over inanimate objects such as sticks.
Watch her leap! See her bound! Admire her ability to keep laughing while chewing a rope!
We love our Flossy. Go talk to her and you will too.
Lady Felicity Fearless, Mistress of Heels!
Easy on that bend Felicity!
Wondrous is her dancing! Mighty her high heeled Morris!
Greet Lady Fearless with warmth. She might just be the loveliest person in the universe.
Find out! Come and say hi. Talk about house building with her. She's really interested in that. Still.
Uh oh... the mask is on.. Approach with caution.
It's our tame kung fu assassin and sharpshooting cat's head Morris chick known only as (gulp!) Shadowfall Nightshade!
Or maybe Shadefall Shadownight!
Or some other double noun variant.
Don't try the old 'want a glass of vino' greeting with this one. Likelihood is she'll flatten you with a triple boulder kick. Grrr.
She is spoken of in steampunk legend as the indomitable Lady of Shallots: Bon-Bon La Bamba. She is a perfectionist.
She is also the only one who can tame the Wild Sergeant Archie Ballcock-Gubbins.
Nothing defeats Bon Bon La Bamba!
Watch her fancy footwork!
Now Sing! Yes! Sing the hymn to La Bamba.
It goes like this: LalalalalaBamba! dumdedum lalalalalaBamba! dumdedum.
Melliflua, aka Rach The Clog is a Real Morris Dancer.
If she invites you to join her for a really friendly, smiley, gentle dance - do not!
This is because she will hurl you around, laughing maniacally, then speed off into some complex twisty, turning express move and you will be left standing like a lemon. She will not understand why you curl into a ball on the floor when she returns, but she will be very nice to you. Then she'll do it all over again.
Flashing are her clogs. kick step step. kick stomp. That's how it goes. Only better.
Time travel by steam is her secret.
Trains, things which puff out steam, clockwork gromits, one touch of these with her mighty Docs and they transport her!
ZOOM! Like her dancing!
It's the charming, the cheery, the travellin' girl with the shiny accordion, Miss Cecelia Chin-chin Chaboogey!
Bold warrior, we see your call to up-sticks and highstep to the beat.
This is Sir Marshall 'Bellowgauge' Hardwicky of Hardwicky Hall.
Yes...THE Sir Marshall 'Bellowgauge' etc etc.
Bearer of Beast Brian, Hoister of Raggety Locks , his Hulk-like strength makes him formidable. See him dance in a coat of many weights! Watch him control Cat-monster Albert when needs must!
Where's the defeated Beast, Marshall? Aha... tis BELOW....:
The Beast Brian trying to charm Lady Miffie Lancaster.
We see inside your head, monster!
Two for One!
Witness then... Preacher Key (the geezer at the back). If the Shaman is the Summoner, then Preacher Key is the Voice of the Steampunk Deities!
Hear him spout of the Clockwork Emperor's dreaded approach !
And with him... She who absorbs dances steps in micro-seconds. Quick-witted, fast-moving.
Raise a glass of Sauvignon Blanc unto Dolores Lightfoot, The Duchess of Bridsea, Diplomatic Envoy of the Court of the Ravens Morris.
Huzza to both! Huzza we cry!
Clenched are her Fists of Power.
Why? Foolish mortal... Recognise ye not a Warrior when one prepares to thump ye in the noggin?
Whisper her name (but not too quietly or she won't hear you) as you see her step forth to face the enemy.
Mistress Woolwinder you gasp! Aye, you'd be right.
Behold the Mistress of Might, Cassandra Wool-Wyndie-Bynder, Lightning-Striker!
"It was this big, honest!"
Recounting her admiration at the biggest one she had ever seen, Professor Ms
Penelope Peryo Dyk-Taibell continues her lecture on test tube sizes.
Hittin' the beat, our amazing Professor P., is also mistress of reverse double steps and hanky-wavers' mysteries.
Keep away from the dark side, Penelope!
BEWARE! The Raven-Vermin of DOOM!
They will hurt you.
Miss Morticia Mangle and Master Monk Mallet-Masher await your submission.
Missing in Action. Forlorn fans flee frantically.
Last seen: preparing for a special wedding.
She is our resident poet. She can rhyme anything with anything (except orange) and is known for her secret recipes which are too secret even to hint at here.
As you can see, her steampunk identity can only be, yes that's right: Lady Muffiny Crouche of Crouche End. Obvious really.
Missing in Action. Sad fans hope for guest reappearance.
LAST SEEN: Amsterdam.
Come back! The UK was only joking about the whole Brexit thing!
This is Dr Polly Glott-Hyfen
who speaks EVERY language in the world including the secret Morris tongues above.
Speak to her in Orc! Talk with her in Semi-Stick! Have a cuppa with her. She has also introduced us to interesting German wines which are NOT Sauvignon Blancs. We love Doc Polly. Bring her back!