This is a bunch of us. Notice we are family friendly and do not feed small children to the munchkin-monster like some sides do.
This is our our summoner of the Clockwork Deities Squire Allen Spode. He's the bloke in charge.
He is fond of Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc and responds well to offers of it. He does not drink beer therefore he is probably not a real Morris dancer.
Here he looks glum because someone has hidden his glass.
Here is Sir Windsor Fyne-Dyner, Bagman to RavensMorris.
He is sophisticated, witty, charming and lives in a gorgeous old house. He is generous with wine. We love Sir Windsor. He is known to behave rakishly if provoked. (He is known to behave rakishly anyway, to be honest.)
Corporal Archibald Ballcock-Gubbins of the King's Royal Ball Bearers.
A tough nut to crack, Corporal Archibald will steam into you with his mighty weapon if provoked. He has no fear of the Morris police who watch for random stick waving, and laughs in the faces of those who do-se-do left.
Hail Corporal! Carrier of banners! Maverick man!
If it comes to war he'll be in the front...or in his favourite sunny spot in the garden with a glass of sauvignon blanc.
OUR FOREMAN! ALL HAIL!
Miss Opiate Hoist-Harness is a storyteller and will talk for many hours on the hidden narratives within the dance steps. She is wise. Opiate also responds positively to offers of wine and is less fussy than some here.
She is also known for her impersonations of 80s boy band singers. Ask her.
Opiate Hoist -Harness runs the side so you need to be very friendly indeed.
She is the resident poet. She can rhyme anything with anything (except orange) and is known for her secret recipes which are too secret even to hint at here.
As you can see, her steampunk identity can only be, yes that's right: Lady Muffiny Crouche of Crouche End. Obvious really. She even has her very own page of creative wordsmithing tucked away on this website.
This cool looking chap above makes a very loud noise with a sax, or a cornet. But not a Cornetto (tho' he has certainly tried).
He is a real musician. In the Steampunk world this maestro of brass is better known to many as that cunning old stoat Sir Jasper Essbend, dance master, house maker. Is there nothing he can't do?
Lady Cathcart de Mouncey.
Keeper of Ancient Lore, follower of The Old Way, Goddess of the Green.
She is the Scribe of Steampunk.
Offer only libations of green tea or crushed blueberries.
This is Dr Polly Glott-Hyfen
who speaks EVERY language in the world including the secret Morris tongues above.
Speak to her in Orc! Talk with her in Semi-Stick! Have a cuppa with her. She has also introduced us to interesting German wines which are NOT Sauvignon Blancs. We love Doc Polly much more than we love Brexit. Can we keep her?
Here is the brains of the outfit; the memory Miss; she-who-forgets-nuthin.
We think this is because of her strange, tubular steampunk computer cunningly disguised as a drum.
She is known only as... Quick-Draw Tallulah!
Lady Miffie Lancaster, of Hatfield.
She knows all dances and is so confident that she's moved to being a musician too. Ask about the strange steampunk dolls she makes if you want to be charming.
You will also win approval if you offer Sauvignon Blanc. Again.
Big John knows every Morris tune ever written and most of those that haven't been. He used to be with Pomfrit. And with Solstice.
He has also taught hundreds of smaller people Morris. We revere him so we have made him SERGEANT! Retired but not forgotten and may make the odd appearance - we hope!
Virtuoso violinist Dorothea Smallholding likes travelling. Especially to and from distant reaches of Hull and beyond.
Is there anything beyond?
Only the sea...
Keep away from the water Dorothea!
She is spoken of in steampunk legend as the indomitable Lady of Shallots: Bob Bon La Bamba. She is a perfectionist. She is also the only one who can tame the Wild Corporal Archie Ballcock-Gubbins.
Nothing defeats Bon Bon La Bamba!
Watch her fancy footwork!
Now Sing! Yes! Sing the hymn to La Bamba.
It goes like this: LalalalalaBamba! dumdedum lalalalalaBamba! dumdedum.
Melliflua, aka Rach The Clog is a Real Morris Dancer.
If she invites you to join her for a really friendly, smiley, gentle dance - do not!
This is because she will hurl you around, laughing maniacally, then speed off into some complex twisty, turning express move and you will be left standing like a lemon. She will not understand why you curl into a ball on the floor when she returns, but she will be very nice to you. Then she'll do it all over again.
Talk to her about cats' tails instead. She knows lots about that.
This is the Steampunk Countess Edith Pen du Lumb.
Mighty is the power of her right hand. It goes like this: bang, rattatat tat, bang!
Behold our Miss Cordelia Threadneedle, Mistress of pointy things and cotton.
Like Corporal Archie she has no fear of anything. Even cats. Big, hungry cats.
The sharp eyed will notice she is in greyscale. This is because she is the mistress of Morris camouflage as well. Crikey!
The indefatigable Flossy Go-Lightly, is known for her control of smaller clockwork beings and powers over inanimate objects such as sticks.
Watch her leap! See her bound! Admire her ability to keep laughing while chewing a rope!
We love our Flossy. Go talk to her and you will too.
And here ...gulp..
are those very clockwork beings...
Realistic aren't they? Who'd have thought that Speedwell and The Sundae Kid were actually made of bits from the scrap yard?
Keep away, they may bite!
Here is the DUCHESS.
You don't want to tangle with the Duchess. Or her dogs.
Especially if you're a cat I guess.
Please her with Frenchiness! Say salut! Offer a granary baton. These things will stand you in good stead for striking up a conversation
Felicity Fearless, Mistress of Heels!
Wondrous is her dancing! Mighty her high heeled Morris!
Greet Felicity Fearless with warmth. She might just be the loveliest person in the universe.
Find out! Come and say hi. Talk about house building with her. She's really interested in that.
Look! Over there! Devoid of her steampunk face mask, goggles and breathing tube!
It's our tame kung fun assassin sharpshooting cat's rear end Morris chick known only as Shadowfall Nightshade! or Shadefall Shadownight. Or some other double noun variant.
Don't try the old 'want a glass of vino' greeting with this one. Likelihood is she'll flatten you with a triple boulder kick.